elysiajoy

Testing

Sat, 11 Feb 2006 06:08:31 GMT

Andrew and I both passed our exam for 4th kyu.

It's a little late, but...

Thu, 19 Jan 2006 06:33:21 GMT

I've never made a new year's resolution, but this year I have one: to be honest with myself.

More to come.

Well that's never happened before.

Tue, 17 Jan 2006 05:07:07 GMT

My sensei complimented me. A "You're looking good" after class. Thankfully it was sandwiched between a "your foot in back stance is turning out a little too much" and a "your backstances at the end of heian godan are a little too short. Don't pull back so much when you are shifting from front stance." If the compliment hadn't been sandwiched between two corrections I'm not sure what I would have done. Perhaps imploded. I don't know. But I remember getting really angry when Sensei Jemmott complimented me with no corrections attatched. I'm used to my sensei who never ever compliments. When you improve you get a "well, not quite, but that's better" or a "well, it's faster, but you'd still get hit" or the like. Never a compliment since I started training with him. It felt kinda odd. Especially since I was feeling off today since it's my first day back after the damn sinus infection. So yeah, I'm glad he gave me corrections witht he compliment, because that saved me from having to say thank you. Instead I could discuss how to go about correcting the problems, which is MUCH more comfortable.

Miracles DO occur

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 05:55:46 GMT

As I'm sure all of you out in LJ land know, I'm a greenbelt. Translated: I suck. That's just the nature of being a greenbelt. If I didn't suck, I wouldn't be a greenbelt. Life as a greenbelt sucks, just like greenbelts suck. Unlike yellow and white belts, you know you suck. Yet that doesn't seem to help you not suck, no matter how hard you try. Intellectually, you get it. You know what you are doing wrong and what to do to make it right. You try to make your body do what you understand in your mind, but the quality of the transmission is about that of a cellphone in basement.

Today, though, my sensei pointed to the stairs, and I seem to have run up them and discovered there IS a place where the reception is good and my body can recieve what my mind is telling it to do. Now the next part is technical, so most of you won't understand or give a shit, but here it goes: My hips have issues. When you punch, you punch with your body, initiated by your hip movement. Well, my hips are moving, but they are loose and my body isn't as connected to them as is should be and I tend to lose pressure to the ground, which basically makes my technique worthless, as I am a dinky little female with no strength. And sometimes I just can't even get them around. Sensei has always told me that I seem to be trying to pivot my hips around a central point, but that is incorrect; the movement is not circular. He keeps trying to explain is as your hips are on a train track and that I need an inside connection with my legs. I try that, but I always look like I'm spinning (greenbelts are amazing creatures.) Today he tried telling me a new way of thinking about it: think of the hip movement like closing a door. The front hip stays in place, like the door on a hinge, and then the rest slams, giving it a forward feeling. And by golly, it worked! Nice inside connection, good pressure to the floor, good power generation (Okay, so by "good" I mean slightly more than non-existant.) My punch was WAY faster (I finally figured out what Nishiyama was talking about when he said to think of the fist as a ball sitting on your hip that you propell forward with your hip movment rather than using your arms to move it forward.) And then we were practicing the application for the side snap and then elbow strike in heian yondan and I was doing it against an opponent. Big guy over 6' and over 200lb, definitely. So here I go, trying to do this technique which is always a failure and wouldn't work against a six year old. And by golly, appying what I will now refer to as "slamming the door" worked. He jumped back and exclaimed that he was glad that we don't make contact. It SO woulda dropped him. That felt SO good!

Miracles occur. After tons of time training and not seeing any improvement and feeling like I should just bleach my belt because I'm so terrible, something WORKED. I now have hope of not being a greenbelt forever! Granted, I'm sure no one read to the end of this to even read what I'm typing here, but whatever, it's here for me to read in the future and look back on when I'm 70 years old and 8th dan.

Tue, 03 Jan 2006 06:26:37 GMT

Your Irish Name Is...

Kayleigh O'Neill

What's your Irish Name?

It takes forever to get your music from CDs to your iPod....

Mon, 26 Dec 2005 04:31:32 GMT

So I really like the song Doesn't Remind Me by Audioslave. It's a very sad song. But in a lot of ways I can relate to that feeling. It's just that my list of things that don't remind me of anything is different. But I know that feeling. It's escape without using substanes. Going to the beach just before sunrise, driving around freeways in the middle of the night when they're empty all by myself. Other things for me that are escapes, but not because they don't remind me of anything: getting pierced or tattooed. I tend to get stuff done when I'm stressed. It takes me away from wherever I am. Having sex outside a relationship. That's closer to the "doesn't remind me" kind of thing. It's like, there's nothing but the sex. Nothing nothing nothing. Just two people together. It's not about love (or the lack of it) it's just about that physical thing you're doing together. That's always fun. Taking walks in the rain. That doesn't remnid me of anything. Sometimes I think it would be nice if it were the case that everything didn't remind me of anything. Such a sense of freedom, I imagine. What do you think? Here are the lyrics:

I walk the streets of Japan till I get lost
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
With a graveyard tan carrying a cross
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like studying faces in a parking lot
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like driving backwards in the fog
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything

[Chorus]
The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

I like gypsy moths and radio talk
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like gospel music and canned applause
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like colorful clothing in the sun
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I ilke hammering nails and speaking in tongues
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything

[Chorus]
The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

Bend and shape me
I love the way you are
Slow and sweetly
Like never before
Calm and sleeping
We won't stir up the past
So descretely
We won't look back

[Chorus]
The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

I like throwing my voice and breaking guitars
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like playing in the sand what's mine is ours
If it doesn't remind me of anything

Sun, 25 Dec 2005 23:06:31 GMT

Getting songs onto my new iPod from two computers is a pain in the ass.

Thu, 22 Dec 2005 00:11:33 GMT

Greed:	Low
Gluttony:	Low
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	Low
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	Medium
Pride:	Low

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

Luck?

Wed, 21 Dec 2005 03:16:14 GMT

Yeah, so an A in anthro. WTF? I have no idea how that happened. I was expecting a C. I was expecting the same in geology. and yet I have finished the quarter with a 3.9 gpa. What the hell? I don't feel like I deserve it. Oh well.

Happenings

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 05:03:39 GMT

1) Dan testing. Dan and Ted tested for nidan and shodan, respectively. Ted passed (go Ted!) but Dan did not (he has some minor things to fix -- Nishiyama said he should test again in 3 months.) Belt ceremony for Ted on friday. Go Ted!

2) Grades. I got an A- in econ, despite turning in a policy brief 5 days late (for 50% of my grade) and for God knows what reason, I got an A in geology, despite the fact that I didn't even turn in an essay for that class. No idea what I got in Anthro yet, but I don't expect to be so damn lucky in that one.

Sun, 18 Dec 2005 21:28:25 GMT

How did my room get so messy? This is a big mess to clean up. Eew.

Examination

Tue, 13 Dec 2005 04:45:39 GMT

Sensei said today that in February both Andrew and I will be testing for 4th kyu. Testing on Heian Godan, which is actually what I was tested on for 5th kyu in the old club. Kinda want to test on Tekki Shodan since I haven't before and I really like the kata, but at the same time I feel like I want to go back and start all over with Heian Shodan. But I will eventually get both of those things -- I'll test on Tekki whenever I test for 3rd kyu and I'll have my Heian Shodan torn apart and picked at for the rest of my life. Such is the way of the karateka.

Mon, 12 Dec 2005 05:56:53 GMT

Today is the date. Sunday, December 11, 2005. Gotta remember the date, so I will write it down, cuz I will forget left to my own devices.

Sat, 03 Dec 2005 19:17:46 GMT

Mine is awesome:

I beat up George Bush and it was fun.

.
.
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Find your birthday...

January: I partied with
February: I had babies with
March: I felt up
April: I messed around with
May: I peed on
June: I robbed
July: I ate
August: I shot
September: I beat up
October: I dressed up as
November: I got married to
December: I had drunken sex with

Find the day of your birthday ...

1: some random guy
2: Michael Jackson
3: some random girl
4: a book
5: Frankenstein
6: Martha Stewart
7: a bottle of Hennesse
8: a flamingo
9: a bag of chips
10: a chair
11: Dick Cheney
12: my English teacher
13: a Teletubbie
14: myself
15: a ninja
16: a penguin
17: a pole
18: an apple
19: a box
20: my finger
21: George Bush
22: a cell phone
23: Ron Jeremy
24: a statue
25: a gnome
26: a hippo
27: my shoes
28: a prostitute
29: a porn star
30: my best friend
31: a cat

Find the FIRST letter of your LAST name...

A: for the money
B: for the hell of it
C: and it sucked
D: to be cool
E: to be naked
F: to eat cheese
G: because my mom told me to
H: for my girlfriend
I: for my boyfriend
J: to be sexy
K: and I had twins
L: at school
M: and it was fun
N: and I got sick
O: and I threw up
P: and something shrank
Q: in the pool
R: and then I streaked
S: and it was boring
T: because I was drunk
U: for a shopping spree
V: and I liked it
W: in the dark
X: and I had a sex change
Y: under the sheets
Z: in a laundry mat

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 04:29:07 GMT

Yes, it is finished. It was a while ago, and now there are pictures:

This ...

Sat, 19 Nov 2005 23:34:03 GMT

I haven't traveled very far down this road, but it's one I'm not going to travel anymore. It just isn't doing me good. I've met some people along the way who are some of the most tremendous people alive, and I'm glad to have met them. But I've put more of myself into this than I'm willing to do anymore. So it's over. This is good bye. Uneventful, not especially heart-breaking, goodbye. For me and for everyone else too. I was never a big part of any of their lives, and they never will of mine, and so we'll just fade into each others' memories or a distant past. I'll look back on this in 20 years and wonder what would have happened if I had made the opposite choice, but by then I will have forgotten the pain, so it will be regretable. I will have forgotten that the road I am chosing hurts less. So it always seems to go. I'll probably always wonder what might have been. But I have nothing left to give.

Zen Dust

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 04:34:44 GMT

It's been a long time, and to tell you the truth, I'm not exactly happy to see you. I look at you and see a cluttered mind, a scattered mind, a childish mind, someone who is hedonistic and selfish and does things for all the wrong reasons. I shoved you in a closet and now that I've pulled you out and had a look in you I see that you're very dusty. It's my fault for having set you there and not cleaned you in so long, but instead it's you that I'm mad at.

Ow

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 04:54:53 GMT

Seminars are awesome, but training all day for two days, plus training the night before and the night after the seminar is very very owie. But awesome.

Awesome quiz

Fri, 04 Nov 2005 17:22:06 GMT

You scored as Sex God. You are a master at sex. You make your partner weak in the knees, and you know it. You've had the practice, and you've read the books, but don't get too cocky (pun intended) or you'll get put into place.

</td>

Sex God

83%

A Romantic

73%

A Slave To BDSM

63%

Virgin

43%

How are you in bed
created with QuizFarm.com

Hair

Fri, 04 Nov 2005 06:28:31 GMT

I'm dying my hair right now. It's like an auburn/bright red color. Seems interesting so far even though it's still wet and gross. Hopefully it'll look awesome.

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 06:39:42 GMT

Wow. So I took it again. Scored lower this time. Life rocks.

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	4.9
Mind:	4.6
Body:	7.5
Spirit:	3.3
Friends/Family:	1.8
Love:	2.1
Finance:	6.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Mon, 31 Oct 2005 16:13:41 GMT

Wow. I guess it sucks to be me.

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	5
Mind:	3.9
Body:	6.8
Spirit:	3.3
Friends/Family:	2.9
Love:	5.4
Finance:	6.2
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

The craziest thing just happened

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 23:53:48 GMT

There is this song which I fell in love with in 8th grade. But I never knew what it was or who it was by, and in those days we couldn't just search around on the internet to find it. So over the years I'd forgotten lyrics or anything so I couldn't find it. And then the radio played it. Holy crap. So off to i-tunes I went, and now it's mine to hear whenever I want.

"No less than I expected."

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 23:42:41 GMT

So I got an essay back today. I got 100% on it. "No less than I expected." was one of the things written back to me.

Am I happy? No. Instead, it makes me feel sad, because this is how I've been expected to perform my whole life. I'm smart, so I should be able to do this, always. If I get 90% on something, it's because I just simply didn't finish the assignment or whatever it is. Or so my mother thinks. If I don't get 100% I fail. My whole life she has complained that I see everything in black and white. And to some extend I do. But I always just assumed it was my own fault. But no, it's not. It's been pushed on me my whole life and it has taken me 22 years to realise that it's not something inherent in myself.

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 00:11:48 GMT

So that last post is kinda ironic now.